The paradox of choice, or how to blaze a new path. !!! It is I, Doctor Disturbious, and todays lesson comes from deep in a hidden Tibetan monastery. Yes, saggy bags of crusty vomit, today’s lesson delves deeply down into the realm of choice to serve up perhaps the biggest answer of all. Why we keep doing what we…
How to make people want what you got. GOOD MORNING, you malingering pukes! It is I, Doctor Disturbious, and I have come forth today with yet another winning strategy to get your name remembered with fear and trepidation! Or at least mild fear and some trepidation, if you sorry sacks are willing to put in the effort! Now it’s…
Evil Costumes- make tacky an art form! Once more into the breach you sorry sacks of psoriasis! Today, I, Doctor Disturbious have taken time out his extremely busy schedule TO DEAL WITH THE LIKES OF YOU…!! No. wait. I’m sorry. Got my cue cards mixed up here. Just a sec… hmm? Why are we on the god’s forsaken planet…
Evil lairs, are they sub-prime or a springboard to the stars? Greetings you pusillanimous larvae! Today your old pal Doctor Disturbious has a treat for you! No. No. It’s not candy! Never EVER accept candy from strangers. One way or another it will make your butt hurt. Today’s lesson in difficult deviousness involves THE PERFECT EVIL LAIR!! Yes. You…
Five huge obstacles to your evil success story Doctor Disturbious here! Welcome once again to another packed and exciting bathroom break on your way to absolute evil. Follow me quickly now, and try not to step on any of the frogs in this mildly poisonous swamp. Any one of them could have been someone like you. This cursed blistered…
Finding your inner arch fiend Doctor Disturbious here. Today’s lesson is coming at a quick pace because we are short on time. We have exactly twenty two minutes until the District City mall is about to light up with some seriously festive holiday designs… FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY, MAYBE!! Yes it’s once again time for me, your teacher…
Because evil has a name… Doctor Disturbious here. Please whisper very quietly. If this lambda ray crystal isn’t positioned right, half of the downtown area will evaporate faster than butter on the sun. Hold it. Hold it. There we go! Greetings gentle halfwits, and welcome to another in your face episode of Evil 101- your guide to shaking the…
Secret identities- do they work? Doctor Disturbious here! Pay absolutely NO attention to the smoke and gunfire, students. This is all part of the supervillain gig. Today’s class is going to be a bit busy as I am in the midst of a high stakes game of mental dexterity with the gun toting vigilante known as The Steel Slug…
Or how to properly construct an evil reputation, or failing that, write an evil book. So my little struggling maggots! You thought you would be able to pull one over on Doctor Disturbious! YOU NOSY KIDS AND YOUR MEDDLING DOG…!! Oh? You’re here for the class? Ahhhh. My apologies, things have been going evil so long, they look like…
Or why we antagonize the protagonist, and take bozo downtown. Hello again, you slobbering worms, Doctor Disturbious here! Couldn’t wait for a round two to my Decidedly Evil Education Lecture, eh? Today’s lesson is one of critical importance to everyone who wants to take the path least traveled. Whether it’s blackmailing your local establishment, or putting the end to…